Its moments like these that take your breath away. Not in the good form….the bad. I knew it was coming, and yea, I got myself prepared, but not for anything like this. I’ve waited, and waited for what I actually thought would happen, but no, I got knocked of this trance and brought back to reality. I was normal once, I didn’t know what anything was, until I saw him. My whole life was pushed back and for once, I felt pure happiness. It was my ticket to success, what actually kept me going. His smile would make my day. I finally got closer and closer and was soon about to make my move, until she came along. I never knew what it was like to be normal again, to not have a purpose in this world. Am I really special anymore? Was I ever special? Was it all just a phase? Because all I feel is emptiness…there’s nothing to live for….nothing. I guess I really am just another form of life, another one of 6 billion people. And out of 6 billion people, I was drawn to him….never in my life had I had a feeling like this. I still do, but the chances are slim and I feel emptiness. Shouldn’t I feel sad? This is past sad, I’m too empty to feel sad, its just a feeling of unimportance. But yes, I do know I am important, but even if I am important to 1,000 people, if I’m not important to him, it just doesn’t matter anymore. I just don’t care anymore…or do I just feel that way because he made me care for so long, that its all just new? This is actually hard….harder than anything I have done before. Watching the one I love, be in love with someone else? Having nobody know what’s happening? Having the ability to stop it, but at he same time, I can’t? I don’t know which part is harder. I am physically watching my whole world crash, and what makes it worse is knowing is going to happen, just wanting to get it over with, but still not wanting it to happen…Maybe its not him that makes me upset, maybe it’s the fact that I cant find happiness anymore.