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Its moments like these that take your breath away. Not in the good form….the bad. I knew it was coming, and yea, I got myself prepared, but not for anything like this. I’ve waited, and waited for what I actually thought would happen, but no, I got knocked of this trance and brought back to reality. I was normal once, I didn’t know what anything was, until I saw him. My whole life was pushed back and for once, I felt pure happiness. It was my ticket to success, what actually kept me going. His smile would make my day. I finally got closer and closer and was soon about to make my move, until she came along. I never knew what it was like to be normal again, to not have a purpose in this world. Am I really special anymore? Was I ever special? Was it all just a phase? Because all I feel is emptiness…there’s nothing to live for….nothing. I guess I really am just another form of life, another one of 6 billion people. And out of 6 billion people, I was drawn to him….never in my life had I had a feeling like this. I still do, but the chances are slim and I feel emptiness. Shouldn’t I feel sad? This is past sad, I’m too empty to feel sad, its just a feeling of unimportance. But yes, I do know I am important, but even if I am important to 1,000 people, if I’m not important to him, it just doesn’t matter anymore. I just don’t care anymore…or do I just feel that way because he made me care for so long, that its all just new? This is actually hard….harder than anything I have done before. Watching the one I love, be in love with someone else? Having nobody know what’s happening? Having the ability to stop it, but at he same time, I can’t? I don’t know which part is harder. I am physically watching my whole world crash, and what makes it worse is knowing is going to happen, just wanting to get it over with, but still not wanting it to happen…Maybe its not him that makes me upset, maybe it’s the fact that I cant find happiness anymore.


Because Not Everything Fits Perfectly Together

Tears are the blood from the heart,
They are clear because they show everything.
You’ve bottled it up for so long,
And it must come out.
You cant die from a broken heart,
You only wish you did,
Because everything you lived for,
Is now broken.
Inside and out,
You feel the worst,
You have to contain it,
I’m not going to rhyme this poem,
Because not everything fits perfectly together.
It may not have a flow,
But the meaning is deeper than you’ll know.


Learn To Grow

It all started out, before she came along,
I knew for sure, that we belonged.
I finally got, the closest chance,
I would fall in love, with every glance,
But then I heard, of a girl,
Threatening to take, my entire world,
No, I wasn’t scared,
I thought I was fully prepared,
But ever since she heard of you,
You two were stuck like glue,
I was there when you asked,
When she said yes, my mind was harassed,
While everyone else is smiling, I shed a tear,
Because I know you’d rather be there, than here.
You rather be with her, instead of me,
That’s what makes me cry, the reason I cant sleep.
There is only so much you can do before you have to let go,
Its not called giving up, its called learning to grow.


Catch The Clue

I cant believe what I see,
In front of me is mystery,
I catch a smile,
I catch a wave,
If only you knew, it made my day.

I guess we cant all have what we want,
Life would be finished, the game, done.
But the hug. that you give her,
Is the reason I wake up for.

If only, If only,
You could see,
The life that, you unknowingly give me,
Then maybe, just maybe,
You’d fall for me.

You don’t see the tears I cry,
Because I don’t show my reason to die,
Theres no point in living,
If what you live for,
doesn’t live for you.

I wish there was somehow, you’d catch the clue


Back In The Game

As I stand there,
I wonder what would have been,
The story of us,
if I would have chosen.

Decisions, decisions,
We make them all the time,
But the ones that really count,
We cant make up our minds.

Because it is you,
Who makes my heart sing,
When I can’t love,
When I’ve lost everything.

A lost love,
I never claimed,
Though the passion,
Can never be tamed.

The presence of you,
Lets me see,
Who I am,
The real me.

Behind the curtain,
Of all my shame,
Its you who brings me to life,
Back in the Game.